Questions about Men

Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to put them in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys TWO cases of beer.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.