The Remarriage Question:

A Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks THE QUESTION......?

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?’
HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'
WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'
HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'
WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'
HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'

WIFE: 'You would?'(with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'
HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'
WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'
HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'
WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'
HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'
WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'
HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'
WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'
HUSBAND 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'
WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you?’
HUSBAND: 'Yes, those are always good times.'
WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?’
HUSBAND: 'No, she's left-handed.'
WIFE: ----- silence ------
HUSBAND: 'S h i t.'

Tiger Beat

T'was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house,
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He'd been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you're gettin' laid, then I'm gettin' paid."

She is not pouting, she’s of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

No Nativity Scene in DC

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol. Search for a Virgin continues. There will be no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Amen.