Hit Man

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their
local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the
newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here
are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I
take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction
of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is
fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in
the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my
neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull
the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the
mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick
off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a
few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a
grand here....."